


Buried Alive

by DancingInTheSliverGlow



Series: Febuwhump 2021 [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Absent John Winchester, Abusive John Winchester, Angst, Attraction, Bad Decisions, Bad Parent John Winchester, Based on a Tumblr Post, Birthday, Birthday Presents, Bisexuality, Buried Alive, Canon Universe, Character Study, Dean Winchester Character Study, Dean Winchester Has Internalized Homophobia, Dean Winchester Has a Sexuality Crisis, Dean Winchester Makes Bad Decisions, Dean Winchester Whump, Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Dean has a crush on a guy, Dean has a date with a guy, Dean's Birthday, Decisions, Difficult Decisions, FebuWhump Day 9, FebuWhump2021, Febuwhump, Fire, Gay, Gay Nuns, Gen, Guilt, He is THE piece of shit we all want to salt and burn, High School, High School Student Dean Winchester, High School Student Sam Winchester, Holy Water, Homophobic John Winchester, Hurt Dean Winchester, I Blame Tumblr, Inspired By Tumblr, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, It's All John Winchester's Fault, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, John Winchester's Journal, M/M, Motel, Nausea, Nuns, Parent John Winchester, Pie, Pre-Season/Series 01, Pre-Series Dean Winchester, Pre-Series John Winchester, Pre-Series Sam Winchester, Rock Salt, Salt, Salt and Burn the Bones (Supernatural), School, Shotgun, Tumblr, Tumblr Prompt, a metaphorical approach to buried alive, birthday angst, buried, burn - Freeform, christo, dead gay nuns - Freeform, febuwhump buried alive, febuwhump day 9 buried alive, febuwhump2021 buried alive, febuwhump2021 day 9, febuwhump2021 day 9 buried alive, riverton wyoming, rock salt shotgun, shot gun, silver - Freeform, two dead gay nuns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:22:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29315532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancingInTheSliverGlow/pseuds/DancingInTheSliverGlow
Summary: "Dean turns seventeen today. We went shooting. Then I sent him out on his ﬁrst hunt. I've let him take the lead before, but I've always been there to back him up. This time he's on his own. Partly it's a test, and partly I wanted some time with Sammy. Should be no problem for Dean. Ghosts of two nuns haunting St. Stephen's Indian Mission in Riverton, Wyoming. Simple salt-and-burn mission. Nuns in love with each other, then discovered. Killed themselves. We scoped the situation out, ﬁgured that something must be left behind that's now a focus for the haunting. Bible, rosary beads, some small article that's hidden somewhere in their room. I ﬁgured Dean would take care of it no problem." - John Winchester's Journal.What if Dean developed a crush on a guy, and subtly implied that he was going out with a guy? This is my interpretation of what happened.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & John Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester/Original Male Character(s), John Winchester & Sam Winchester
Series: Febuwhump 2021 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137995
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	Buried Alive

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [January 24th, 1996](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28814541) by [vulcanarmr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulcanarmr/pseuds/vulcanarmr). 



Dean stares at himself in the mirror in the bathroom and psyches himself up. In the motel room, John is waiting for Dean to return from the restroom, and get started on the hunt that John had pulled him out of high school early to get started on. 

Normally, Dean would’ve been ecstatic to help his dad out with a hunt, but he had made plans. Of course, it was nothing that he couldn’t drop or reschedule, but this… this was different.

… 

A few weeks ago, John had pulled into Riverton, Wyoming and enrolled Dean and Sam into the local middle and high schools. Sammy, as usual, had found the library and had gotten himself a dozen books to bury himself in. Usually Dean would suffer through a few classes, half paying attention to whatever the teacher was saying, and half watching the clock, waiting for the bell to ring so that he could meet back up with Sam, or help John with his case. 

It’s not that Dean was against the idea of school, of learning and getting a career. No, Dean already knew what his career would be. He was going to be a hunter, the best hunter, just like his dad. He was going to be a hero and save people’s lives. He was going to prevent other families from being torn apart by supernatural creatures, like the way his family was.

But… this school was different. Well, that’s not true. The people were different, or rather one person was different. Christian Kane. There was just something about him that Dean couldn’t put his finger on. He was in the same classes as Dean, had well maintained, silky hair that reached the bottom of his jaw. His eyes were brown, and he had a kind, welcoming smile that reached his eyes.

For some reason, Dean always looked away when Christian Kane smiled at him, heat rushing to his cheeks.

For the first week, Dean had thought that maybe Christian Kane was a supernatural creature. He tried all the normal drills; swapped his water bottle for one with holy water, offered to let him use his (silver) cutlery, whispered _Christo_ in his presence - but nothing. Dean knew that there were many supernatural creatures that wouldn’t respond to those checks, but the chance of Christian Kane being anything but human was becoming less and less likely. Besides the _weird feeling_ Dean got when he looked at Christian Kane (or whenever Christian Kane glanced in his direction, or talked to him, or stood near him), there were no signs that he was anything but human.

Dean didn’t know what to think of it. 

At least, until Christian Kane asked him out. _On a date._

Dean had stared at him clueless for a moment. Christian Kane was asking him out. Christian Kane was gay, and _into Dean..?_

And then it suddenly made sense. The way Christian Kane had caught his attention; it wasn’t suspicion of supernatural activity, it was _attraction_. Dean had felt this way before when pretty girls with cute smiles winked at him. 

Dean had stumbled out something incoherent that vaguely sounded like _yes._ Thankfully, Christian had thrown his head back and laughed. It wasn’t a mean laugh, more of a _I think you’re funny and cute_ kind of laugh. Dean watched him and wondered how he didn’t realize that he was attracted to Christian Kane before, because the guy was _beautiful._ Even more so when he laughed.

Then Christian Kane had asked if Dean wasn’t _out_ yet, and that had brought Dean back to earth from his world shaking revelations. He wasn’t _straight_. But at the same time, he wasn’t gay? Dean knew he was into girls, but he was also into boys. Dean shook his head _no_ , because until a few moments ago Dean himself hadn’t realized he was into guys.

Christian Kane had nodded understandingly, and told Dean that he had come out to his parents a few months ago. He was lucky, they were cool about it. Although, Christian had mused, that was probably because his aunt had come out as bisexual a few years before at a family gathering and essentially paved the way for any other queer members of their family.

_Bisexual?_ Dean had repeated, confused. 

_It’s when you like girls and boys._ Christian had explained. 

_Oh. I-I think that’s me._

Christian had smiled. _Thats cool. We should get pie to celebrate your coming out._

_Pie_. Dean smiles happily. He couldn’t wait. 

… 

Dean inhales, pushes his shoulders back and stands back. It was now, or never. He exits the room, and sees John sitting on the motel bed, cleaning his rock salt shotgun. _Shit._

John turns and sees Dean. “Finally! You ready to go?” He puts the shotgun back into the bag and stands.

Dean clenches his fists, and releases it. His heart is beating so hard in his chest, he’s surprised his dad hasn’t heard it yet. “I’m-I’m going out with someone.” Dean forces the words out, more nervous than he’s ever been. “To dinner, the _Pie Pizzeria_ by Highway 215 and Union Park Avenue. They have _speciality pies_.”

John laughs, clearly amused. “Oh? Taking one of the girls from school out on a date, huh? You’re quite the ladies man.”

“... No, not exactly. I’m going with a guy - Christian Kane? He’s in - well he’s in all my classes. At high school.” Dean doesn’t explicitly say that it’s a date but the implication is there. He figures his dad catches on, because his previous laughter is gone.

Dead silence.

Dean waits, his heart in his throat, hands ice cold with anxiety. Eventually, John grunts in what Dean takes as an affirmation, picks up his hunting bag and leaves the motel room. After a few moments, Dean can hear baby’s engine rumbling as John drives away on the hunt. 

Dean exhales shakily. That could’ve gone better, but at the same time, Dean knows it could’ve gone a lot worse. 

… 

John doesn’t come back for a few weeks. In that time, Sammy managed to get through about half the school’s library, and Dean - well he samples every single pie at the _Pie Pizzeria_ with Christian Kane. Christian Kane is also a bit of a nerd - he wants to become a doctor and his studying habits have been rubbing off on Dean, to the point where Sammy _looks up_ from his mountain of books and frowns at Dean who’s working away on his math homework. Dean knows that with his lifestyle, long term relationships aren’t likely but for Christian Kane, Dean wants to try. Maybe in between hunts they can come back here, to Riverton, Wyoming? 

By the time John gets back, it’s the night before Dean’s birthday. He hugs Sam and claps Dean on the back, tells them the hunt went well - it was a rogue vamp. It took time tracking it down but once he did, one slice to the neck and it was done. 

The next day, John wishes Dean a happy birthday, and he gives Dean his birthday present: his first solo hunt. John puts nearly all his equipment in baby, and hands Dean the keys making him promise to return her undamaged.

Dean’s ecstatic - for years he’s been helping John as back up, and as lead on a few rare cases, but this is the first time that John is letting Dean take a case all by himself. There’s a haunting at the edge of town. John thinks it's a simple salt and burn, but he’s sending Dean to verify and deal with it. Dean couldn’t be prouder of himself. His dad believes in him.

John was right. It was a haunting. Two dead nuns were haunting the church where they died.

Two dead _gay_ nuns.

Dean stares at their ghostly figures, one of them snarling in anger at him and flickering, the other looking at him pleading and scared. He found the objects keeping them here - one heartbreaking love letter and a photo of them standing side by side, happy. The salt and gasoline are on the objects and the lighter is flickering in Dean’s hand but - but - 

He doesn’t want to. Inside he’s screaming and crying and in shock because this? This is a message, to them, to Dean. John doesn’t want a queer son. Not only does he not want a queer son, but this hunt, forcing Dean to salt and burn the lovers - that’s purifying.

Dean can read between the lines. John is telling him to get rid of any _queer feelings_ he has. To salt and burn them, purify them, bury them, because John thinks they’re _bad_ and _wrong_.

Dean thinks of Christian, his face full of light and happiness when he told Dean that his family accepted him. Dean wants to believe Christian and his family, that the feelings they have are valid and pure and not tainted like John thinks.

In the end, the decision boils down to who does he choose, Christian Kane, the guy he’s been dating for the past few weeks or his family. His family, because there’s no way John will let him see Sammy again if he chooses Christian.

He already lost his mother, he can’t lose his dad, and he can’t lose Sammy.

The decision is easy and heartbreaking. Dean whispers, “ _I’m sorry,”_ to the nuns and the lover letter and photo fly up in flames.

… 

Dean spends the drive back in shock, burying his feelings, emotions, and whatever he had for Christian Kane deep, deep down. He parks baby, and knocks on the motel door. John opens it.

“Well? How did it go?”

“Easy salt and burn,” Dean reports, his voice just as dead and robotic as he feels inside.

John smiles and claps him on the back. “Good.” He opens the motel door wider and ushers Dean in.

Bile rising in his throat, Dean painfully fakes a smile and tries not to vomit. 

The End. 

**Author's Note:**

> Every single member of the LGBTQ+ community is valid. Don't let anyone tell or convince you otherwise.  
> I hope everyone's staying safe and healthy during these troubling times.  
> Come say hi on [my tumblr :)](https://art-in-the-sunlight.tumblr.com)  
> If you enjoyed, consider leaving a kudos and comment?  
> Emoji Key for those who don't know what to say!  
> ❤ = you wish you could kudos again  
> 👍 = you enjoyed reading it  
> 🔪 = Petition to murder John Winchester, again  
> 💕 = Dean should've chosen Christian Kane


End file.
